I’m not an expert in love relationships but that doesn’t mean I’ve no clue on what works and doesn’t. Yesterday I shared a story of a 21 year old girl from the neighbourhood nursing injuries sustained thanks to a love relationship.Despite the horrific injuries he inflicted on her, and all the medical team’s belief that she wouldn’t be able to improve any time soon, it is time that our sisters gather a bit of strength and determination to make judgement appropriately on when to end their relationships. Someone who reads this blog religiously saw that story and decided to drop me an email sharing her similar experiences. She was aged 25 years when it became clear that her love of life wasn’t the ideal choice. Her beating after refusing to take drugs as part of the boyfriend’s proposed drug fuelled sex ogres. The threat of him shooting her, was enough to see her take off from the relationship. In fact she created an emergency phone call scenario and lied to him that the mother has just called, is unwell and needed her immediate attention and the boy let the girl go. Luckily, because the boyfriend was already highly intoxicated and didn’t bother to verify whether there was indeed a phone call that came to her phone.After leaving that boyfriend, she relocated to a different location and for the boyfriend, he is now incarcerated for drug related offences. That has saved her plenty of troubles as she tries to settle down.She has gained new skills all the time and have plans for the future.Her plan is to always try to keep moving forward, and with the help of her family and friends she’s been able to keep soldiering on, though it hasn’t been easy by any means working and living in a different location.There has been real connection between her emotional torture and the fact it was caused through relationship abuse. Her experience of being in psychological torture directly after the assault was not a positive experience. Her community’s social work department offered support around the assault, there was no delay in her receiving written information about what to expect in relation to the abuse and threats.
In her love relationships, she had very little counselling around the relationship abuse and never felt the need. Her view was that she can deal with it on her own way. Nothing really mattered before the threats started and her brain would go into complete lock down. She could rarely think about it until it dawned on her that unless she makes a move, her life could be in danger. After the last incident, her friend had tried to get her share all the information required in charging her boyfriend with assault. The other way was to have him charged with trying to sex with her forcefully which is a rape but she wouldn’t cooperate because she didn’t want him to get into trouble with the police. According to her, the boyfriend had already been in contact with the justice system over the assault of another person in a night club some few years back and was taken to court and ordered to attend anger management classes and thats why she didn’t want him to get into any more trouble. However, as they say old habits die hard and few days after her incident, the boyfriend was arrested on drug related offences. She told your blogger that she’s began seeing a psychologist and his support has had a big impact on her. In fact it has benefitted her because she’s been diagnosed with a hidden disability commonly known as dyslexia. While with the boyfriend, she had problems reading some of the love letters he would write to her although it was a challenge she had from childhood. She is now wondering if her undiagnosed dyslexia had something to do with her low self-esteem as a girlfriend and her refusal to accept drug fuelled sex escapades. However, one thing that she doesn’t regret is making an informed decision on when to leave the boyfriend. It definitely saved her life because what could have followed was ruining of her future.The psychologist has convinced her to break it off with the boyfriend and she has decided to focus on her studies and work. She has finally realised she would never be able to change him despite the boyfriend having her name tattooed on his chest.She’s really pissed off and angry about the past but her decision makes her present and future life better, although she get flash-backs occasionally of being abused and threatened.When she is in a bad mood and things are getting to her, she shares how she’s feeling and it helps and thats what made her write to your blogger.