Since January, three people i know all too well have filed for divorce. Two of them women and a bloke. All of them, used to preach to me how sweet marriage was just a few years back. Now, they are acting and reacting like headless ruffians against their partners. Am not celebrating their failure but fact is, I don’t believe in marriage. Its an institution that is built on deception and riddled with stress. In my case, i can’t afford to combine daily life stress with skirtie’s stress. Judge me if you wish but thats who I am. The growing number of people are opting for divorce rather than staying in an abusive marriage, even though in some cultures, traditional practices do not guarantee their rights after they split up.The main reason why many end their marriages is inharmonious relationships with their spouses, which is another way of saying they are victims of domestic violence or extra marital affairs. One of the two women seeking divorce narrated how her man beat her up after they argued about where she got late. Explaining how rainfall disrupted traffic and created a gridlock wasn’t enough, the bloke battered her like hell. Its common knowledge that many women have been abused in their marriage, but are reluctant to tell the truth and choose to simply say they have an inharmonious relationship.The other woman alleged she was in an abusive marriage with her husband.When she made that decision last month, she told your blogger that she was fully aware she was not ready financially. However, she said she had opted to move on and live a life free from violence and has moved from Sydney to Canberra as a result. But who am i to advise people on what to do matters marriage or divorce, my response was just do what works for you mate!In the aboriginal culture back in the days, it was considered taboo for a woman to leave his man at the time in what modern day we call divorce.While divorce is not without its pitfalls, a post-divorce life can be more challenging.Recharging physically is only one aspect of taking control of split recovery. In my view there’s much to be gained from seeking psychological support from others like those three friends did with me. Among the key differences between the challenges facing blokes and women after divorce is the fact that blokes tend to be less well equipped with domestic survival skills. But thats one area your blogger has invested for long time, even if he were dating or married, he wouldn’t suffer.The nonsense that is peddled by dimwits that divorced or single men eat significantly fewer vegetables, and tend to smoke and drink more than married men is stupidity of the highest order. I don’t do neither of those and plenty of others don’t as well. Its not all doom and gloom for the divorced blokes, you can manage. After all, what a woman can do, a man can do but not everything a man does a woman can ….no elaboration for those who believe the opposite.
In my view, if your divorced or separated, the ability to cope with trauma is greatly enhanced if you can regain and store enough energy in yourself. My advise would be to focus on a good diet, regular exercise and nourishing sleep all which i do religiously. If you are a bloke who was divorced for being a love rat, then turning around such habits takes time, but keeping fit in particular is a good place to start. Even as little as a brisk quarter-hour jog a day can promote the release of chemicals that relieve stress and help you sleep better. As a singleton, I know making the decision to start exercising also makes me feel empowered rather than a lone tiger. Whenever i walk on the streets, my fitness levels makes me realise that there’s nothing like an improved appearance through weight loss and better muscle tone to combat feelings of being single and happy. The same case would apply for the rejected types.Being divorced or separated isn’t the end of the world.The man whom i talked about at the beginning got married because he believed that he found someone that would love him for who he were and i recall him telling me in 2012 that the lady is someone that would complement him for the rest of his life. Wished him back then but wasn’t surprised when last summer he informed me that they no longer live in the same house with her. Told him that if he stays in an unhealthy marriage, he will be unhappy and with time he will begin to develop coping ideas in an effort to maintain calm but the end results will be completely out of character individual. All of us deserve to be happy but this doesn’t mean some people aren’t happy in marriage. There are pockets of them especially the older folks who grew up before computing age. But my view is that the longer someone is in an unhappy marriage, the longer both will stay unhappy. Unless you come from mars, you know unhappiness extends beyond the two all the way to friends and family. Add the side effects to the two individual’s health. In short, such marriages and partnerships extend and prolong misery. In this world where getting money is a hard task, extra stress is unwelcome.With billions of people out there, only buffoons believe in marriages and relationships that don’t work because there are people out there that can be a partner to each of one of us in a happy relationship and for those who love marriage too. And for buffoons that stay in unhappy marriage, they are missing opportunities to meet such people and be in a happy relationships, or should i add marriages?Bottom line is that we are in 21st century and today’s society doesn’t force folks to stay in unhappy or even abusive relationships like our aboriginal ancestors used to do, because of social stigma or economic risk are no longer relevant anymore when it comes to parting ways or divorcing.There are plenty ways that trends around marriages and relationships are changing, and these are connected to broader social and cultural change that the traditionalists who believe in ancient marriage set ups don’t want to accept and its time we tell such folks that they are a century behind.