The Joy of Being a Woman by Ingrid Trobisch

August 1, 2017
Front cover of The Joy of Being a Woman by Ingrid Trobisch

I’m not religious myself but have no problem reading religion inspired books like this guidebook for every Christian woman to her own body written by a typical 20th century feminist, Ingrid Trobisch. Its a book about how self acceptance negates obsession with securing approval from others or your judge self matters in life. In turn, you radiate confidence and positive energy that will fuel greater self-esteem and positive responses from others.The author argues on how to improve it as a woman and believes women should stop trying to second-guess what others think of them and assume they like you until proven otherwise. Tell yourself that you don’t need approval in order to feel worthwhile is her message to women and remind them that they are a valuable person for who they are.Author also advocates for women to talk to themselves with kindness and approval. Your blogger know of women who confess that they don’t always take care of themselves as they should. They have to work hard to maintain a healthy weight, keep blood pressure down, dress smartly among other challenges. As a person, though, I see the author’s arguments as more a spiritual one than a physical one. There are some reasons believers like the author advocates need to take care of themselves.Women just like me, their body is the only one they have. This point might sound naive, but sometimes women live as if they have bodies to spare. When what they have is worn out, they don’t have a replacement. And that is the message author is trying to deliver to women out there, of cause with 20th century mentality of clipping male chauvinism.It’s hard to tell women to be disciplined in using the Bible as the author does, or through prayer life, giving among others when they can look at themselves and see they are undisciplined in exercise and eating. A lack of effort in one area of life is often indicative of problems in other areas and thats why I always don’t understand why women end up putting on weight after giving brith. Perhaps it laziness but the author states clearly that its not an excuse.All women know bad health is costly. Eventually, the costs of poor health add up. Medical bills pile up. Insurance costs increase. Moreover, bad health makes women less productive both at home and work. Others are forced then to carry some of their load. I know of a bloke in Melbourne who is struggling to cope with his wife situation and can’t barely focus on his work. She has been eating her way to the grave yard by visiting macca daily whenever the hubby who works in Alice Spring is away.Am one of those who believe families deserve better. Frankly, it’s unloving not to take care of yourself as a woman. Families worry about women when they struggle to climb steps or find clothes to fit. For the case of the bloke in Melbourne, the love for women ought to motivate him to do better but what I know is that he’s almost giving up.

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This is a book is a classic example of what inspired 20th century feminists like Ingrid
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Foreward was an interesting read
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The “doula” taught author how to be loved but she also perfected art of loving

As the author notes, being out of shape might indicate idolatry. Those words might be difficult to hear, but they’re necessary ones according to the chapters quoted from the Bible by the author. If women cannot push away from food in order to take care of their bodies, women must ask if something other than God has become their god.Author argues that better health means more energy to do God’s work. God’s work is not easy, the hours are often long. Being out of shape makes the work only that much more difficult. Proper care requires rest and it’s biblical to get rest. God expects women to take time off, focus on Him, and enjoy His blessings. In fact, not taking time to rest can be self centered, that is, women think they must be doing everything in their homes. However outrageous some of the author’s views are, I frankly appreciate her honesty in dealing with fellow women challenges. Women bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. This truth is difficult to comprehend for many women. Chapter Two, the wife’s joy in sexual response, in case you haven’t already noticed, men and women are different. Aside from the obvious, the way men and women respond sexually tend to be worlds apart generally speaking which can result in a great deal of frustration in the bedroom. The author writes that understanding and adjusting to your partner’s unique sexual response profile or signature can make the difference between a ho hum sexual experience to that of a transcendental epiphany.What author shares with reader is a result of her experience as a fully married woman who has learned how to fully match or harmonise with her male partner’s sexual response profile. You don’t have to agree with author’s observations, however you may find it useful to at least be open to exploring the possibilities presented.Thanks to author’s marriage, she is much more coachable as a lover than she was previously when everything worked during their dating life. In really listening to her partner made author discover that what genuinely worked for her and what she thought would work were two completely different things.In her view, men are hard-wired to spread seed far and wide and quickly as possible. While this may seem to be lots of fun for men, it is not always conducive to having a sexually fulfilling experience from the female perspective as the author writes. Most women takes much longer to warm up sexually speaking that men do. One of the biggest complaints I hear from women is that by the time their man issues his last grunt she’s barely getting started.When you think about it, it’s not too surprising men make assumptions that women are are enjoying sex as along as you’ve penetrated them. Research has shown that more than three quarters of women moan during sex just to make their man feel good. No wonder men are clueless, the women are giving us false signals which only reinforce men’s misplaced presumptions.The author is very fortunate in that her partner is not shy about sharing exactly what he likes and how he likes it especially when it comes to her slowing way down until she is fully warmed up. Interestingly, her marriage made this easier to accomplish since her husband don’t have the urge most other men get when they are hard. This allows her to fully focus on taking her time to prepare and please him in the way he wants.

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Author’s note to the reader is expertly done
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Write encourages women to embrace self acceptance
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Author believes a wife joy in sexual response is critical

According to the author, matching partner’s sexual response ends up having the most incredible sensual experience. The intensity and frequency of her orgasmic response is so far off the charts that neither she nor man ever remotely have seen anything like it.The cool thing is, women have to find partner’s limits of sexual expression. This will lead both to the conclusion that women in general, assuming a healthy sexual self-image, literally have no bounds to their sensuality. Think about that for a moment and what it means for any relationship that can tap into that bottomless well of intimate bliss.In the same chapter two, it was interesting to see a sub topic titled coping with sexual frustrations. There is universal agreement that sexual frustration can be depressing to some people as it can generate a feeling as if not existing. Many people experiencing this dilemma forces them to look for effective ways in coping with sexual frustration. If you are one of those, then you should begin your adventure of finding the sexual happiness that you desire according to the author.Beforehand, it is important to understand the meaning of sexual frustration. Such type of frustration comes in many forms. It does not necessarily mean that if a person engage in sexual activity frequently is guaranteed satisfied. There are instances in which a woman having sex every day and reaches orgasm also feels frustrated. Likewise, a married woman like the author may also experience sexual frustration if she is not able to achieve the sex that she desires.It is good to point out that coping with sexual frustration is not only applicable to married people or with partners but also to single person. Thus, by learning some ways to deal with frustrations can divert your attention. The author writes that instead of yelling your frustrations why not look for ways to turn it into positive reaction.Author notes that a woman can cope up the feeling of deep longing to engage in sexual intercourse by accepting the reality. If you a woman is longing for sex and has no sexual partner, then you need to look first for a partner as was the fashion in 20th century. Anyone can manage to satisfy themselves by using other methods such as using sex objects and toys as well as masturbating. Its not a must to have a partner as the author would want the reader to believe.Author clearly states that sexual frustration is also manifested by deep longing to touch someone. Touch is one of the basic requirements of a woman and it can make the skin hunger. Engaging in activities that would make woman in close contact with the husband can be rejuvenating. Human interaction is an effective way of coping with sexual frustration.Some women experience sexual frustration especially if they need penetration to orgasm.The mere fact of a woman knowing that she is loved is an effective way to counteract the feeling of dissatisfaction.If a woman feel that she is deprived of sexual satisfaction, she should be careful of making decisions engaging in sex to strangers. Author suggests women can satisfy their fetish craving in more decent way without making themselves a trash and adds that women should not let that feeling to creep all over their body as it will only make them sad and depressed. Coping with sexual frustration can be easily overcome by changing attitude and author advises women to consult a professional.

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Fertility is a challenge for many people and author didn’t shy away from extensively discussing it
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Pregnancy didn’t escape the author’s attention
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After nine months, giving birth is a great marital experience for women

Chapter three is about living in harmony with the cycle and fertility, an ultimate guide to regulating and optimising each phase of menstrual cycle. Author guide includes what to eat, how to move, exercise, specific mudras and recipes for each of the four phases of menstrual cycle. It is the perfect resource for any women experiencing an irregular menstrual cycles or hormonal imbalances. Ovulation is a major event in a woman’s menstrual cycle, the author writes. Whether a woman’s ovulation or not determines if she has the possibility of becoming pregnant. It also determines when she’s going to menstruate, and if menstrual cycle is going to be regular or not. So whether a woman is trying to conceive, want to regulate her menstrual cycles, or balance her hormones and prevent those unpleasant symptoms, she want to create a fertile lifestyle, one that ensures she ovulate regularly, ideally every cycle during her reproductive years. As author discusses, this lifestyle involves healthy nutrition, regular exercise, sufficient sleep and rest, and a positive mindset. The author share ideas that can help promote ovulation and enhance fertility potential, naturally. One of them is a woman’s age that affects her fertility.Age is no barrier to achieving many things as a woman but it can reduce the chance of a woman getting pregnant and having a healthy baby. A woman’s age is the single most important factor affecting her fertility. Fertility is ageist. Age is the single most important factor affecting women fertility and their chances of having a child.Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have. As a woman ages, her eggs age with her, diminishing in quantity and quality. Age is not something women can control. But if a woman want a baby or another baby, and she is in a relationship, she can have a conversation with her partner sooner rather than later.The father’s age can also impact on chance of conception, time to pregnancy, risk of miscarriage and the health of the child. As a woman ages, it takes longer to conceive and the risk of not being able to get pregnant increases. Also, the risk of miscarriage, and complications in pregnancy and childbirth, increase. The author nailed it perfectly on this chapter.

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We all know how important breastfeeding is and author writes that its a component of motherhood
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Menopause, a transition that most women dread is analysed well by the writer

Chapter four is dedicated to the wonderful time of expecting, pregnancy is the most joyous time of life for any woman. Everybody will say that a pregnant woman is more beautiful than she has ever been. Being pregnant does have its privileges. People are so happy for woman that they throw her parties and she get all kinds of great stuff. But author argues that none of it is actually for the pregnant woman. It’s all for the baby and woman better get used to that because once the baby arrives its all going to be about the baby. That includes woman’s time as well.When you first find out that you are pregnant people around you are overexcited at the prospect of bringing another member to family, one that will continue their family name and feel happy about you bringing another life. The author writes that behind all that joy of pregnancy there is pain, including morning Sickness, cravings, weight gain, swollen ankles, heart burn and many other challenges.Even a woman’s favourite perfume and perfume that she loved on her husband makes her sick. Author believes that all of that will be worth it though when woman see the most amazing creation of God. Her baby. No one really knows why all these changes in women happen. But all these things are wonderful. And the good news is that all this lasts only for nine months. During that most important time of a woman life, they needs a lot of support from their loved one from husband to family members and community at large.The writer says pregnant women are very sensitive, they need love more than they used to. Working together, attending maternal classes, shopping for newborn, preparing room for little one, getting ready for that exciting moment of their life. It is an exciting and emotional thing becoming a mother. For the rest of life, woman will care, raise, educate, catch every minute of joy, share the most beautiful moments with her kids and family. It is a great and unforgettable experience that woman will have all her life. Author adds that bringing a child into the world is a beautiful and ultimately rewarding experience that every women should live through.

Back cover of my copy
Back cover of the book The Joy of Being a Woman by Ingrid Trobisch

The last chapter in the book is about menopause, a chance for a new beginning. With hot weather predicted throughout this month of August, I’m sure many women are not looking forward to a season of hot flushes and night sweats. More and more research show that acupuncture reduces hot flushes and night sweats during menopause. In today’s world, one that worships youth, turning 50 is often seen as a milestone to mourn rather than celebrate. It is also natural to begin the process of menopause at around 49 years of age. Author writes that menopause literally means the end of monthly cycles also known as menstruation.  While many women might feel that the end of their monthly cycles is the start of their decline into old age it can be the beginning of a marvellous new cycle, if you allow it according to the author. In terms of archetypes, women move in twenty eight year cycles from maiden to mother, nurturing children or careers. The change is not simply a collection of physical symptoms to be fixed, but a mind body revolution that brings the greatest opportunity for growth since adolescence. It’s a chance to get healthy, be assertive and approach life with a new-found wisdom.It is in those women in menopause that begin the transition and start exploring connection to herself and see what it is she need to do, or be, in order to better nourish herself. Author writes it is a time for woman to rediscover what she gave away as she entered the mother cycle like talents and passions, pleasures and interests. The main theme of the menopause is release and letting go, without which there can be no renewal and fresh starts. From this perspective menopause can be a liberating time as a woman begin to focus on herself rather than constantly nurturing others.Women live in a culture where menopause is sometimes treated as a disease, rather than experienced as a normal process of life that can be transformative and elevating as it is in other cultures. Women tend to experience menopause quite differently. Some associate menopause with symptoms such as hot flushes and night sweats, mood swings, vaginal dryness and osteoporosis while others menstrual changes with time and for some women they experience shoulder stiffness.What I learned by reading this book is that no one plays as significant a role in meeting a husband’s unique needs as his wife. Some of husband’s most basic needs in marriage include being admired, to have autonomy, and to enjoy shared activity.Being appreciated is a man’s primary need. He measures his worth through his achievements, big and small, and needs them to be recognised. A woman’s need for admiration and appreciation, while certainly important, is rarely as strong. When a woman seeks appreciation she is more accurately wanting to be understood. She wants to be validated.There is a significant difference between men and women when it comes to being admired. Men derive their worth more from what they do, while women derive their worth more from who they are. It is a universal male need. For women, its better to make a careful list of recreational interests your husband enjoys.It was also clear that strong spiritually is very important for women.Women will have an easier time in the social world if they dress and groom themselves well. When a woman put together in unstylish way they’re likelier to make negative assumptions about her personality, and be less likely to give you a chance. If well-groomed and well-dressed there will be positive traits, and tendencies to view her mistakes and foibles through charitable eyes. Not only that, knowing she is looking better can boost her confidence, many women have happily gone that route. While women focus on fashion and grooming, some of the spiritual connections apply to other aspects of women’s appearance like weight, fitness level, how nice her teeth are, and so on.

Contador Harrison