Staying in abusive relationship isn’t worth it
Yesterday I shared a story of a woman who lived a life one can only describe as hellish. That made a reader of this blog to write to me asking if she could share her story and advise.The 30 year old lady currently living in Collingwood, Melbourne lived her life in fear and it consumed her mentally, to a point she felt like it was time to take her own life. She said the biggest thing about her last relationship with her boyfriend was she wasn’t a woman with any knowledge or wisdom. Ladies, young and old should be aware, in control, and comfortable with their own lives and relationships, and not be afraid to get out of a relationship where you don’t feel comfortable.She advises that if he threatens or demonstrates any physical violence, the woman should get out. Ladies should realise it’s not worth it, no matter what happiness he may bring on the table no matter what. In her case, the last man she had started insulting her friends and became obsessive, by any means, like wanting her to start spending every second with him. He even started deterring her from spending time with anyone else or doing the things she liked. Herself and friends considered his behavior strange, aggressive and eventually had to make a decision to leave him.She believes that women need to build their self-esteem to stop them from thinking violent behavior is acceptable. In her situation, she recalled how sexy, cool and smart she was and from then onwards never worried about whatever nonsense anyone else thought about her leaving the bloke. She just focused on her work and studies and recent got the best job her profession can offer. The lady whom I’ve known since teen life, asserts that men don’t really matter at her age, they’re just for fun on occasions, at the moment.If she had her time again she would listen to everyone who advised her against dating her last boyfriend. Her parents, friends and counsellors were against it. Indeed she would listen to what they were telling her because she wouldn’t have had the challenges that befell after that. Her regrets is that she should have turned her ears on and listen how stupidly hormonal she was being by continuing to return to such a violent, negative, and abusive relationship.Luckily, she is now aware of what she should have done to end the relationship.
One of the ideas she has is that she should have done it in public vision so that the boyfriend couldn’t hurt her. Also, she shouldn’t have ever listened to or taken anything the boyfriend said so seriously, unless it was at face value to avoid a violent outburst like one particular case that took place in their trip to Sydney couple of years back. Her view is that she shouldn’t have continued to spend so much time alone with him and allow him have so much power. Another regret is that she let him gain complete control over her as soon as their relationship began. At the beginning she didn’t realise he’s a violent dirtbag straight away but when she did, she needed to end the relationship but never terminated it as soon as the violence was expressed.As a friend she now appreciated why your blogger doesn’t venture into the world of relationships. Her advise to ladies is that they really need to open their eyes, accept information, and direction from all who love, respect and care for them. And when they are in a relationship, no matter what the partner says, her view is that ladies should always remember they are number one. Without respect in a relationship it just won’t ever work happily for you both.She added that if men don’t like playing by fair rules, ladies should tell them they can take a walk and walk alone and should not tolerate that shit, men can’t just treat ladies like that. Unless men can begin to respect ladies as an equal, they better end the relationship. The gorgeous Melbournian also revealed to your blogger that through sheer determination and willpower is what has made her to be where she is today and after gradually reclaiming my life, she can says life’s cooler than before. Though she was only in her early 20s when she was bashed, she now hope to keep sharing with other ladies and hopefully help keep them away from violent and controlling relationships. In her view, all ladies need to begin to enjoy their lives is by stop taking it for granted and be assured that they’re the one in control of their life.When i asked whether she’s planning to be an activist, her response was muted but noted that she wish to be seen as a strong, inspirational young lady helping fellow ladies in Melbourne to attain same view of relationships as herself. Your blogger can only hope all the young women who read this story take the right kind of power in their lives, keep it real and never accept to be fooled.