Sex ‘stealthing’ is a deceitful behaviour
A friend asked recently what my thoughts were on “sex stealthing” and whether such acts should be considered a crime. Being a dinosaur as my Sydneysider’s friend teenage boyo calls me, I was gobsmacked by both the question and questioner. But like all other new stuff that emerges with each generation i didn’t shy away from the challenge and before responding, I started by asking a sexologist based in Cairns in Queensland whether the trend is sexual assault or just a trend. Her response was its a crime because when a bloke intentionally removes a franger during sex without consent, its not only a violation of rights of the victims but also a criminal act that should be punished because sex without frangers have consequences. No doubt as a woman, her response was full of energy and couldnt disagree because many sex maniacs believe that they are entitled to have unprotected sex without their partner’s agreement. I can only imagine how such victims of stealthing walk away from the experience feeling grossly violated. Back to sexologist, her works entails advising bachelor’s like yours truly, married and unmarried couples about the benefits of safe sex etc. She says that recently, a married woman sought her assistance on how to sex stealthing which she prefers more than her husband’s choice of franger. “I dislike using frangers. Makes me feels like he’s wrapped his penis in polythene wrap. The sensation is not as pleasurable for me, and I find that my vagina aches more afterwards.” “Frangers feel less intimate. I feel awesome the way the smooth, hard penis skin feels against my skin, but I can’t feel that with a franger. We use them because my husband can’t do me without them because he doesn’t like the pill, and the intercourse still feels good,” the client told her.That story reminded me of a friend who narrated how she parted ways with her boyfriend because he couldn’t ‘squeeze’ her without it. In her own words, she said “With my former boyfriend I felt like I’ve used just about every type of franger there is and they were all limit sensation to one extent or another.”“With my new boyfriend we use pills for birth control. But when i forget to buy the pills and he uses frangers, the sensation is much less sensitive, and I feel like there’s wrap between us. It simply doesn’t feel as good as skin on skin.”
“I have used frangers and frankly, although I would not say this to someone whose only option was frangers, it does make sex a little less intimate and less pleasurable for me.” “Without a franger, every sensation is a little more intense and a little warmer. Also, the lubricants on frangers sometimes irritate me.” “When my boyfriend doesn’t use frangers, it feels great. Maybe it’s partially mental, but I enjoy feeling him inside me, uncovered. Also, him ejaculating inside of me is a sexual turn on,” the lady told your blogger couple back then. In such for why sex stealthing is a big thing in world of sex, I contacted a Melburnian ‘lot lizard’ whom since elementary school days is known as expert in ‘girlfriend experience’ and when i sought her views she didn’t disappoint. She responded by saying “With frangers, I feel a difference. I like intercourse without a frangers because I love the feeling of a penis inside me and our skin rubbing. I like the natural lube. But I do not have intercourse without a frangers unless I am in love with the person or in a relationship meaning I’m willing to get pregnant or willing to deal with his viruses for a lifetime. I’d take franger sex over no sex any day.” She added that “I can tell that something is different and I prefer him without a franger, but in the end it doesn’t change that much for me.” “We use frangers, but there have been a few times where the horniness has gotten the better of us and you know what end results are. The difference I notice is that there is so much less sensation with frangers, even the ones that claim to be ultra thin. I never thought I would say that but you can actually tell the difference.” After engaging different voices, i concluded that sex stealthing is a border between rape, sexual assault or sexual abuse.Its very sad that men are forcing their victims into a sexual act that they did not agree to. Sex without a franger is not worth the risks, and the difference in feeling. In my view, if you are in a stable relationship, and the partner is on birth control then there is not much to say against sex without a franger.However with greater reward comes greater risk because there’s no desire for sex that should overwhelm rational judgement and sex stealthing is a deceitful behaviour that has no place in an intimate physical relationship.