Porn is changing how couples make love

July 5, 2016

After i wrote demystifying porn addiction few days ago, a close friend challenged me to give a thought his view that porn addiction is connected to idleness where sanctioned nude images are porn to some members of the public while others think soft porn is what mainstream public accepts widely. I could not tell whether nude images are something else entirely from what was there in 1980s. There is a growing number of population in the society that is becoming ever more visual and highly sexualised. And our seeming desire to access such images will not end anytime soon.Recent research has found more and more people are clicking onto online porn and men are known to visit internet sex sites more than women do.There’s no doubt access to internet porn is on the rise. A recent study showed an increase in the use of internet sex sites in the last five years. And the research links a rise in experimental sex in particular oral and anal sex to what couples see on the internet. So why are more people looking at online porn? I could not tell my friend whether it was deliberate, accidental or opportunistic.However, i believe its because it’s freely and readily available.I also hold the view that pornography is so highly addictive.In my friend’s view, porn addiction is the stuff of modern clinical practice. He shared how scientists are still reluctant to impose the label, with studies to date showing poor experimental designs and a lack of methodological rigour.Nudity is everywhere from online, on television, billboards, in magazines, desktops and mobiles. Like the complacency and compassion fatigue that plagues news media images of conflicts like the ongoings in Syria and larger middle east, we increasingly view nakedness with our eyes glazed over. Men and women alike click on nudity in office break time and even coffee breaks. Credible news sites usher us on our way. There are no hyperlink, no cries and even more interesting, Google, Yahoo and Bing are always there to assist.

Picture by Mathilde Grafström
Mathilde Grafström photography

In exchanges with my blud, the issue was what is the line between soft porn and hard.Also, what is the difference between clicking on sanctioned eye-candy during working hours and browsing adult porn at home.Porn is not all bad according to me. At the same time, porn does raise issues for many people like our raging parents always want us to understand.Most aged folks I have discussed with on this topic over the years believe porn can improve sexual intimacy and they also believe porn degrades the women who appear in it and even others believe it degrades men as well.We continues to see a rise in couples seeking help for porn addiction. Porn addiction as experts call it is a case of “the more one can see, the more one would want” and I can’t deny that porn addiction is a problem to people out there. Before the advent of internet, it was a handful of cases. Porn is also changing how couples make love. For young people in particular, anal and oral sex has become normalised since the turn of the century.In 20th century, there were few couples who had oral sex but now it’s common among sexual partners with more than 30 percent globally estimated to practice both. When it comes to experimenting teens, porn and sex go hand-in-hand.What I can’t tell is what porn teach young men and women about intimacy, body image and gender relations. There are young men who have never had sex with an actual woman who are addicted to porn as teenagers. Most of those in relationships have really lovely girlfriends but the kind of sex they feel confident with is watch and wank. It’s abundant, anonymous and free.As me and my blud concluded, porn is addictive and nudity is normal and no one knows which direction the future of sexually explicit content will take us but i disagreed with him that idleness is the main cause.

Contador Harrison