Managing tough life isn’t a cakewalk
A close friend took to twitter on Saturday to share her difficulties in life. When i saw the tweet, I was stunned since she always shared pictures of what one would consider as living a good life but she wrote it’s so hard for her to an extent she couldn’t keep it to herself and didn’t want the feeling of hiding and her. It has been a long and hard road to the current job she has as a management executive in an Australian publicly listed company.One of the things she didn’t realize from her tweeting is that her experience is similar to your blogger and many of others who struggle to accept our existence, failures and all.Many of us are dealing with stressful challenges every day, with a gap between how we want to live our lives and how we are actually living our lives.I was heartened that her tweeting motivated so many twitter users to take the time to get in touch, comment and offering support.She tweeted about her struggles, how she feels that as Australian society folks are placing irrational value on the approval of others, on how others perceive her management role, career, physical appearance and material achievement. She vowed to stop living a life subconsciously seeking the approval of others and want to find her inner or authentic self.In the case of your blogger, despite what close friends consider as major flaws and shortcomings, I care about authentic self which helps me discerns right from wrong, cares for the suffering, the disadvantaged some of which i share their stories on this blog.Her tweet attracted comments that made me feel that most of us would sooner do someone a good turn than a bad one and have an authentic self that realizes that human beings are made of good stuff, of moral stuff, despite minor or sometimes major aberrations that seem to deny that.In one of her response to comments made, she wrote how there were many stereotypes she had to overcome to reach the levels of her career she currently holds. “I see only two female colleagues in leadership in the organization i work because I think the stereotype that people make assumptions about are the position of female in society,” she wrote.“When you add the intersection of Australian ethnic or cultural diversity into gender, it makes it twice as hard because the expectation is even stronger that she shouldn’t have these roles.”
She noted that while gender wasn’t a barrier, there were other cultural hurdles to overcome like cultural background.The challenge she wrote is to listen to that authentic self that she is trying to find and that lies within everyone. But how exactly how she find that authentic self has been her herculean task.A Melburnian commented that being authentic self is an experience, not something that is fixed while a Sydneysider described it as the subjective sense of being one’s true self.What that tweet and comments that followed taught me was that living authentic self comes in those moments when you feel you are being real and living how you want to live your life. Like your blogger holds the personal view that being single, not dating is the best, others like some of my friends are into marriages with one having lasted for 13 months and is now divorced. To me, the strongest, deepest relationship whether partnership or marriage can only thrive when both are authentic self and that applies whether it’s with a friend, lover, family member or workmate.Those of us having hard times in life or those who find themselves in positions of challenge like that, I advise you to draw on your values, what’s important to you, integrity and doing the right thing have to come up.Like i told a Danish female friend few days ago, I just enthuses energy with everything I do and I don’t take failure for an answer to my challenges. I mean, I just gets on with it until I can find the solution.I hold the view that accessing my personal power through my mind and the body to bring my boldest self to life’s challenges is non negotiable. High on my list is identifying the values, strengths and traits that I really value, that expose my authentic self in both rough and tough times that I face every day in my life. As my mother told me as tween, in life things are going to happen that will make me question myself, question my ability and my sense of equilibrium, whether it’s an investment, friendship failures, relationship breaking up, losing someone I love or making mistakes at work or in business engagements. Since then, identifying my authentic self has made me believe in owning my own story. Always, I know until i die, there will be challenges and changes in my life that will throw me off course. It’s inevitable whether i like it or not but my authentic self has for more than three decades of my existence helped me triumph over any adversity.