Evanescing hope and the idea of rope
My elementary teacher used to tell us that depression is not limited to sadness, low moods because it distorts our view of the society, making it seem bleaker than it could be. In fact, she was the first person to ever explain why stress engenders feelings of worthlessness, helplessness and hopelessness. Those of us who have gone through stress knows all too well how it curtails us from doing their best in our lives. That was no difference to someone whom i met recent who for some reasons, depression is leading her to self-harm. The year 2016 had been the lowest point in her life. At 22, she was jobless and hopeless. Everyone around her age was is either building their career or pursuing graduate studies.She had applied for her degree in several prestigious universities in the US and was accepted at four universities among thousands of applicants from all over the world, where only 10 to 30 make it each year, and she was one of them. That is, by far, the biggest and proudest moment in her life.Sadly, her mom lost battle with cancer and then reality set in her life. Despite getting funding for tuition, she was required to have funds, which she couldn’t afford. She didn’t grow up privileged so it was simply unthinkable to ask her relatives to pay for her studies in the USA. She then applied for a scholarship but didn’t make the cut. Sadly, the announcement came just one day after her mother’s demise.She told your blogger how her heart sank and got deeply depressed, lost appetite for eating, sleep and hope. In fact she says constant crying became part of her.Experiencing stress was part of her being alive. Feeling like a big failure, she soon began plotting for ways to end her life and buying a rope was the first step. She went to different shops searching for a rope strong and long enough to hang herself to death. Shockingly, she also showed your blogger on her phone how she also browsed the Internet for a poison, thinking that would make my death quick and painless. Her narration of how she was one click away from making the purchase was mind tearing but thank to internet bundle subscription expiry, she couldn’t make the purchase. When she renewed her data bundle, attention shifted on sharing her plans with the brother who happens to be a close friend of your blogger.
It was the idea of how crushed her brother would be to find his sister lying dead at their own home that lead her to think again. It was barely a month after the mother had passed away and she felt that more pain to the brother would be more than cruel. I asked her what went through the mind and she said, I could see my brother screaming and crying, my relatives frantically trying to calm him down while choking on tears. I stopped right there and then Contador Harrison, am sure you would also have come to see my brother, your F1 buddy! Luckily for the young gal, she decided to share her challenges with the brother and relatives who supported her morally and financially and with time it dawned on her that the only way she could get out of her situation was by getting a job. With assistance from family members, she found one and nowadays her financial freedoms are guaranteed as well as the ability to help her brother and relatives. That’s where she is today. Her plans include planning to raise enough money to fund her tertiary education and develop her career. The brother who was with us during the convo, told your blogger that when the going gets tough, it’s very normal to feel down, overwhelmed or even miserable. For those suffering from depression though, that period of sadness tends to be longer and seemingly endless.There is no doubt depression is a silent killer who lives within us. It is everywhere and doesn’t care which age you belong to. Although the symptoms are quite similar whether you are old or young, there is a thin line between depression and anxiety, with depression being defined as a form of mood disorder that could be traced to constant anxiety. While anxiety displays tension and nervousness, depression is seen in the lack of energy, apathy and interest.The young gal revealed that she realized her depression was full blown when signs of depression emerged like being sad all the time, low energy, feeling worthless, poor concentration, diminished interest in activities, isolation and even withdrawals from family and friends, weight changes where she put a few kilos and her undoubtedly suicidal thoughts that led her to purchase a rope strong enough for bungee jumping.Her problem worsened because she tended to hide her symptoms of depression. That move was dangerous personally and socially.Good thing is that stress never became greater than her ability to cope which could have led to physical and mental health issues and cause problems.I must admit her case is one among many millions if not billions of us ranging our lives with stress.