Divorce isn’t the end of the world
Friday May 1st 2015 will forever remain etched in my memories.The reason being a prominent friend who started a fierce conversation that was aimed at me for being a bachelor.The way he approached the topic was through expressing curiosity as to why the divorce rates globally have increased.According to the married bloke, most judges conduct divorces for couples too easily particularly in Africa and new stringent set of laws should be put in place to make it harder for couple to part ways.As a liberal minded, my views were different and in fact, I’d like to see easier process of divorce if I were the one in charge. As a person who loathe marriage with a passion, and based on my experiences in past datings, such a statement was absolutely wrong. Worse, the married bloke said most court judges in Africa were motivated to gain promotion in their careers especially if they handle high profile divorce cases. The more they separate spouses, the more reward with better packages and increase in private practice which most of them rakes in hundreds of thousands of dollars annually.Contador Harrison want to look at the real condition.In some countries where am familiar with Marriage Law, the laws clearly state that divorce is not allowed to be carried out except in court, after careful examination of each case by judges.But in developing world where marriage is just a paperwork process, one can decide to divorce at will as long as there are genuine reasons for doing so.
In former British colonies across Africa, the marriage law stipulates that divorce can be accepted on various reasons like when one of the spouses is adulterous, a drunk, a drug addict or gambler who can’t perform their expected responsibilities.In other countries, when one spouse leaves the other for two years successively without any legal reason or the other’s permission then that marriage is considered null and void.Doesn’t come better than that for those who’ve lived in hellish marriages that are common sources of stress and despair. Another common reason is when a spouses is convicted by a court and sentenced to stipulated years’ incarceration or longer during the marriage with most anglophone countries ranging between six months to five years.Also,when either of spouse are in a continuous dispute without hope of living together in harmony, then divorce can be initiated. In Australia, we have the most liberal laws when it comes to marriage where spouses can mutually agree to end their marriage contract after one year of living separate lives and in my opinion, there’s no problem with that.In fact, if I was asked, it should be shortened to three months.It is common to see young men and women being allowed to marry even though they are not economically and socially independent. Think of many people married and have no permanent job to make money. Worse is that some even shamelessly entirely depends on maintenance from their parents.
In past dating experiences, lack of responsibility by my partner was responsible for separation. When a boyfriend leaves his girl for several weeks or months and he never comes back, its not their wish but reality of situation related to relationships. In one extreme case I know in Zambia, a bloke married another girl after leaving the other one in less than three months. Several of married friends who’ve in the past two years have parted ways with their women,their divorces was as result of continuous dispute between spouses.In one case which involved a friend in Melbourne, Australia, the divorce was triggered and prolonged by bad communication, immaturity, a lack of mutual understanding that ended on social media and it took intervention of your blogger and few others to halt the messy separation. In another case in San Diego, the judges is expected to examine whether there is a possibility or not to save a family of a friend of mine by giving the spouses more time. In that case,I have tried to rally the two personally to explore reconciliation with help from their families, friends and likes but it hasn’t been easy.These were the same people whom three years ago told me marriage is heaven and the best thing on earth.Indeed, spouses have ample time to find the best solution for their marriage and badly need assistance by friends whether married or not, professional or independent mediator.It feels great when I succeed in mediating conflicting spouses or partners though I have none. Divorce will continue to increase every year and whether moralists like it or not, there are so many factors driving the rates, all of which are highly sophisticated and interrelated behind a decision to divorce or part ways but being dumped isn’t the end of world.Pick up the pieces and move on.