When it comes to sexual fantasy, men beat women. A couple of weeks ago, I engaged a friend who keeps tweeting about how he knows about sexual fantasies.I started by asking him whether we can use unusual sexual fantasies to identify sexual deviancy and whether there’s a link between what people fantasise about and how they actually behave.Certain sexual interests such as fetishism, voyeurism, exhibitionism, sadism and masochism are described as as unusual and are said to be among number of people. However, research shows that some of these fantasies are not all that unusual.To find out what defines an unusual sexual fantasy,i questioned the twitterer about the definition of typical and atypical sexual fantasies used in globally.I asked him with his experience on which specific sexual fantasies, that people ranked on a scale of zero to ten among the young and the old. There was also several questions where I asked him to write down his favorite sex fantasy. The benefit of this type of engagement is that wI can use objective, statistical criteria to define usual and unusual fantasies.In the realm of sexual fantasies, diversity is normal. Most of the fantasies on my list were not known to him and he though they were rare or unusual, and only a few were found to be typical.Bestiality and pedophilia were reported by fewer people.Eleven fantasies were statistically unusual.Nine of these were rare in women. Some of them included urinating on partner or being urinated on, wearing clothes of the opposite gender, forcing someone to have sex, abusing a person who is drunk, asleep, or unconscious, having sex with a prostitute and having sex with a women who has very small breasts.Interestingly, even among men, several fantasies are less common like urinating on their partner, being urinated on, having sex with two other men, or having sex with more than three other men.
According to his response, fantasies that were statistically typical, include feeling romantic emotions, fantasies in which atmosphere and location are important and fantasies involving a romantic location. Both men and women in his view report fantasies in romantic locations in similar numbers.For men, typical fantasies included receiving oral sex and having sexual intercourse with two women.Second, submission and domination themes are common, both in men and women.It is worth noting that no difference between genders and men actually report submissive fantasies in comparable proportions of women, and vice versa for domination. This demystified the belief that men necessarily fantasise about domination.Also, submission and domination themes are correlated. Many people with submissive fantasies also reported domination fantasies.Some so-called paraphilic, sexual fantasies involving consenting adult partners are noteworthy, especially fetishism, sadism, and masochism. These sexual fantasies are far from uncommon.All this means that we should refrain from listing fantasies and interests involving consenting adults and non criminal behaviors in psychiatric manuals as disorders.The key point is that fantasies should not be confused with wishes or behaviors. For instance, while many women acknowledged fantasies about domination, approximately half of them specify they would never want to experience it in real life. The mere presence of a fantasy, even if intense and recurrent, is not sufficient to describe a real life sexual interest.Thus, fantasies are not necessarily good indicators of real-life interests.Your blogger is one of those who worry less about sexual fantasies that involve consenting adults in non-criminal situations and more about the effect of the fantasy, whatever the content is. As soon as a sexual fantasy induces distress or suffering or involves non-consenting partners, it should be considered pathological. Any sexual fantasy that inflicts distress to a person should be categorised as a sexual preference disorder.Assertions of what is common or normal for sexual fantasies should be based more on data and less on judgment.To this date, there is no universal definition of unusual sexual fantasies but men cannot dispute that breast fetishism is arguably the most popular sexual fantasies.