A lady’s view on why love relationships fail

October 3, 2017

Reasons why love relationships fail varies depends on an individual experience but there are some standard causes of such failures that stand out. Childhood friend who now lives and work in Gold Coast, used to tell me that love relationships don’t have to be sexual to last long. In her young adulthood life experiences, she preferred love relationship that didn’t involve fling. Recently, as we were having a chinwag, she told your blogger that her life has been ten times better than her friend who was recently kicked out by a male companion of more than half a decade. We took note that the failure of a relationship can be attributed to one or a combination of different factors.When her friend found out that her relationship was facing plenty of problems, she did the best to try and work it out so it doesn’t ruin the hard work she’d put into her relationship for well over five years. But that wasn’t to be and eventually it fell apart. According to Gold Coast friend, relying on your partner for your happiness is a huge mistake. She says it is common among Gold Coast folks who have have very few good things going on in their life.This she says put too much pressure on partner where they feel like they’ve such a huge role in their life. Such kind of dependence is not healthy in any kind of relationship and since her teenage life she’s avoided it.Failure of relationships is one of the greatest destroyer of personal esteem and there’s plenty of such experiences in every community young and old.Your blogger’s friend says that when state of mind is clouded with insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, romantic relationships will be dysfunctional and doomed. In her views, insecurities are more influential on partner than most of us think. Low self-esteem can wear on partner as he or she continuously witnesses the other partner’s inner struggles and self-loathing. She think there is a real danger in believing that when a relationship is difficult it isn’t normal. Of course one need to have the foundations like great communication, empathy and understanding, respect, a healthy gender balance and honesty. These are qualities she has to get next time oracles blessed her with boyfriend.

She was also critical of her friends who many times forego their own desires to make their partner happy, and the more they keep doing it and their partner learns that they can easily ignore they wants. She added that most of them start to feel that kind of sacrifice taking toll on them. In her view, self-love is learned and practiced. Without first mastering self-love, romantic relationships will suffer a noticeable disconnect. When both love themselves, however, that’s when they’ll be able to establish a genuine connection and build a formidable bond.Of cause your blogger isn’t a person who is in love and after being single for almost a decade, such stories don’t even encourage him to be in relationship. The Gold Coast friend says self-doubt causes those in relationships to compare the way their partner treats them to the way their friends’ partners treat them, which is something those in secure relationships wouldn’t do.She gave an example of how her young sister’s partner bought her a fancy diamond chain for her birthday, and then her sister’s friend partner did something much less extravagant for her birthday which didn’t go down well with the latter.It is very common she said for Gold Coast ladies to compare and resent their partner’s different behavior which in her view is projection of insecurities. If she were in a relationship, she told your blogger that the best thing she can do is buy herself a diamond chain and treat herself the way she want to be treated.She believes that relationships are a constant process of opening up, trusting and compromising. Since being single, she has her routine, her structure, the way she does things. She has a social life and her time and more sweet for her, she doesn’t have to answer to anyone.I was impressed with how she values her freedom, like she doesn’t have to check in with anyone to ask if they have plans for dinner tomorrow so she can plan out her meal the night before. She just had to worry about her own meal, which sounded familiar script to your blogger.Carving out a space for a new person isn’t easy, it is like adding a new person to an already full capacity space.When it comes to your blogger, he’s never had a failed and catastrophic relationships but he doesn’t believe that nobody will ever be able to take on all of him because of his sophisticated, liberal and conservative life he lives. I’m way to complex. And ladies I dated were very great but none was up for my that self created way of life. As a Japanese childhood friend used to tell your blogger, if things are too easy, it’s a sign that things aren’t so good in relationships. The signs that a relationship is healthy is that there are challenges and problems that partners have to work though, both individually and as a couple, to evolve and grow into the best people they can be. Relationships can last days, weeks, months or they can last a lifetime, either way, when people ask your how things are with plans to be in a relationship, he does tell them it’s not worth it!

 

Contador Harrison